Leave Empty Chip Bags for Her

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Leave Empty Chip Bags for Her

You work hard at your job. People just don’t understand how much it takes to be a part-time rap artist/future best-selling author-in-progress (it took days to write those two pages of your novel, but you can’t rush genius). At the end of the day, you just want to put your feet up, kick back, and watch TV. No one can expect you to put in hours cleaning your house after the day you’ve had! Is it too much to expect your girlfriend to pull her own weight? Of course not! So after you’ve finished your bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos, you don’t need to get up and take it to the trash. Just leave it there—she will get it later.

What else can you expect your girlfriend to do for you? If she’s truly in love with you and ready to make a home with you, she’s got to be willing to handle her share of the load. Your creative endeavors take a lot out of you, and you deserve a break. Here are some other things you can stop stressing over and let her handle.

Don’t Worry About the Laundry

Why bother with the laundry? You know she’s just going to tell you that you’re not doing it right anyway. Delicates, whites, colors, dry clean only, hang dry… so many different things to deal with when all you want is a clean graphic tee and some jeans to wear. Her clothes have all those bizarre requirements, so let her deal with it all. You’ll only end up washing your red shirt with her white dress and getting yelled at.

You know what will help her? Leave your clothes lying on the floor. That way, she can separate the different types of clothing and the colors from the whites while she picks them up. That saves her time digging through the overflowing laundry basket. She won’t be able to say you’re not considerate or helping!

The Kitchen Is NOT Your Domain

You have two reasons to go into the kitchen: to get a beer and to get another beer. Okay, maybe more chips, too. But your girlfriend is there to handle the cooking and the dishes. She’s the one who wants something more than pizza or McDonalds, so it’s up to her to cook it. And hey, if she dirties up the pots and pans, isn’t it her responsibility to wash them? She’s always nagging you to clean up your messes, so it’s only fair. Don’t worry about the kitchen. In fact, think of it as her version of the garage. You know she doesn’t want anything to do with your work out there, so respect her own space and leave the kitchen alone.

Let Her Handle the Dining Room, Too

Do you use the dining room table? She probably makes you eat her fancy meals there, but if she’s out for the night, what are you doing? That’s right, you’re using your time wisely by eating on the couch. That way, you can watch TV while you eat. You’re saving time by doing two things at once!

So don’t worry about cleaning off the table or doing anything else in the dining room. It’s a space that obviously she wants to control. It’s like an extension of the kitchen, and we’ve already established that’s all her. If it were up to you, you probably wouldn’t even have a dining room at all. Wouldn’t the table she always has covered with a fancy tablecloth and some weird decorative centerpiece would make an awesome place for a poker game?

Don’t Be Hasty

Ah, the dreaded “honey do” list—that never-ending list of chores and projects she wants you to tackle around the house. She’s going to want you to jump on those tasks right away, but you can’t do anything if you don’t have a plan! Don’t be hasty and jump right into doing something. Take your time. Think it through. Make a plan.

Explain to her that cleaning the gutters isn’t something you do on a whim. It takes careful planning. The weather has to be just right, and you have to have all the right tools on hand before you start. Be sure she knows that you have every intention of getting all of her projects done, but you want to be sure you do them right the first time. Remind her that you’re not a professional, but hey, if she wants to spend her own money to hire one, well, that’s okay.

You’re a man, and every woman knows that men need to be taken care of. It’s what they want to do. Let her take care of everything when you get home from a long day’s work. You’ve earned it.

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